Freak of the Week #10 -- Frank
08/27/1999
Sorry, I know I've been slack. Sometimes it's hard finding that perfect freak.
After the freak session, as a bonus, I've included a nice poem Visagoth wrote for me.
It's funny, so check it out! :)
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From: Frank Rizzo <flat_foot92@hotmail.com>
Date: Friday, August 13, 1999 11:21 PM
To: <aimee>
Subject: Whew
Wow, some man must have done you wrong......
The south is a good place for you.
A Yankee.
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From: <aimee>
Date: Saturday, August 14, 1999 1:48 AM
To: Frank Rizzo <flat_foot92@hotmail.com>
Subject: Re: Whew
Dear Frankie,
I'm shocked, first of all, to read that someone named 'FRANK RIZZO' is a Yankee. I don't
know why that name immediately transports me into some bad mafia movie, but some things can't
be explained by a mere woman. When you aren't busy beating your wife, knocking back some
cheap beer, betting on the ponies, hanging out with the fellas on the street corner, or shaving
your back, I'm glad that you spend your time letting random people on the net know whether or
not they have made good decisions on where to live. Actually Frankie, I could give a damn about
Yankees...I just hate the way they all move south once they either get rich or retire.
So...with that in mind...is the south really a good place for me?
Next topic (yawn). Whoa..here's a new one. The SOME MAN HAS DONE YOU WRONG topic. This must
be entirely true because even though I've covered this topic 3 million times now, you say so
and you're not only a man but a Yankee, too (that means you know everything there is to know...
twice). I can't actually expect you to read the FAQ or understand sarcasm, much less comprehend
any word over 3 syllables. Any woman who actually has an opinion or doesn't flash her boobs upon
request must have been done wrong by a man. In fact, anything I've ever done in my life has been
because of something a man did or didn't do for me. What the heck was I thinking? I'm going
to march myself into the kitchen to cook you some dinner, as soon as I change into my best lingerie.
Do you want me to bring you anything while I'm up, snookums?
Yours Until You Sleep With The Fishes,
Aimee
(Redneck Extraordinaire)
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Aimee vs. The Planet of the Apes
Aimee sat staring, deep into the cam,
Surely an extrovert, definitely a ham,
On the other side sat a man, typing with one hand
In his mind another world, we like to call "Freak Land"!
She didn't have to smile, or remove her top you see,
His mind did all the work, because his life was so empty!
He wrote her letters, and tried to attract her,
But when she spurned him, he only attacked her!
She posted his mail, and angered his pride,
But his juvenile mind, he could not hide.
His letter was beset with sexual overtone,
Controlled completely by his testosterone,
This happens daily, yes every day,
Another child typing away,
Attempting to convince her that their motives are pure,
But she's not stupid, she understands them for sure,
There's a point to this and an end to my prose,
I have a message to the men, Aimee has yet to expose,
Heed my words! Cease your banality!
We are all just sick, of your cave-man mentality!
Visagoth*
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* poetic genius! :) I'll be moving this somewhere more permanent, but
wanted everyone to see it now because I got such a kick out of it.
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